We all have experiences we struggle to put into words. Whether that be heartbreak, loss, mourning, or internal battles. It’s a common theme among all of us humans. Finding way’s to connect to these experiences is key in personal growth and connecting with our inner wisdom. It's easy to assume that people who regularly appear in public (i.e., teach courses, write books, act, speak, etc.) are fearless. That somehow they're always confident and self-assured. Well, I can assure you that is not always the case.
Through personal experience in the last 8 months, I got up close and personal with some of my fears and insecurities that popped back up due to some life changes and new levels of self growth. I faced fear again and again, and oh boy did we battle hard.
I had to confront my ego and decide who was going to guide me. My monkey mind or my inner wisdom.
I had to re-look at self love and rebuild self confidence.
I had to pull myself out of bed and go! Even when I didn't want to.
I had to be the shining light even when deep down inside my light was completely out.
I’ve broken down I’ve been hurt many times before. One of my favourite lyrics from The b. class® replayed in my mind many times as the highs and lows were a rollercoaster of passion and perseverance. Even when I was not feeling 100% I knew that deep down inside something better was coming and that I have to keep moving forward.
You can face your biggest fears and find freedom on the other side. It just takes a lot of f*cking work. The work comes from connecting to your inner wisdom something that is not always easy to do. As a hyper active mind and individual who has a million thoughts, ideas, feelings, and emotions constantly running through my mind and body; I find it hard to something connect and understand it all.
Here is a quote I stumbled upon by Jacob Nordby that I just love.
“The thing I’ve noticed about people who have this insatiable craving to find themselves… to live out their true soul destiny…is that they mostly don't come out of the chute knowing what that is. We are off balance, awkward and confused about whats next. What makes these people different is that we keep going, keep trying, keep chipping away at the shape of whats real within until it reveals itself. Somehow we know its going to be worth it,”
With time and persistence to connect with inner wisdom I finally feel the light coming back.
It's a ripple effect for sure and we must learn to enjoy the ride.
Dear: Inner wisdom,
I never meant to ignore you. I know you tried so hard. It’s not that I didn't hear you, I was just too caught up, wound up, built up.
I knew you were there. But because of my choices I could not hear you.
I searched for you, I craved you, I wanted each and everyday to speak to you. But what I realize is that I was not allowing you in.
For that I am sorry please forgive me inner wisdom, as I know you are far more wiser then I.